[Aleichem Sholem] The Letters of Menakhem-Mendl by Sholem Aleichem

Author:Sholem Aleichem
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

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Didn't I say don't trifle with God? Listen to what happened to Yoyneh. I've already told you he didn't do his own baking. He had workers, two men and three women.

Well, something began to go wrong. I mean, a lot of things did. Yoyneh's customers started complaining that his bagels had feathers and ribbons and cockroaches and bits of glass in them. Then some Christian found a big black hairball. A Christian is no joke, especially when he threatens to go to the police.

There was an investigation to see whose hair it was. The men blamed the women and the women blamed the men. The women said they were blondes, all three of them. The men said that no man had such long hairs. Then the women started to quarrel among themselves and more charming facts came to light. One of them had baked a sock band in a hallah. Another had dropped a bandage into some dough. A third had used a ball of dough as a pillow. Naturally, she denied it. She swore to God it was a lie, and anyway, she had only done it once or twice. It was Yoyneh's fault for not giving her a pillow.

The town was in an uproar. Yoyneh was making in his pants. All his hollering to high heaven didn't help. No one wanted to touch his bagels. Everyone said they weren't fit for the dogs. It couldn't have happened to a nicer fellow.

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